Passage Twenty-two: I Now Treasure
When I was thirteen,
I was given a copy of Walden.
To this day I do not know
If Mrs. Hodell gave me the book
Because she thought I would
Appreciate its message
Or because of all her students,
I needed it most desperately.
I had grown up
Without feelings of self-worth.
I was the kid other kids abused.
I was short, had freckles
And big ears,
And I was desperate
For acceptance.
I would do almost anything,
Would try to be anything
I thought would get me acceptance,
But never did.
When I read Walden,
It seemed as if
I had never thought before.
I saw for the first time
What it meant to search for truth,
And that first glimpse
Was like a ray of light to me.
Since that time
I have immersed myself
In many kinds of foolishness
And have plumbed many depths
Of self-degradation.
From each, I have emerged
With new appreciations
Of the challenges they pose.
I am now grateful
For the darkness I have known.
The experience has given me
An appreciation for others
I would otherwise lack.
I hope I will never forget
What it was like
To feel so lost, so unhappy,
And so devoid of hope,
So I might use that understanding
To better be of service.
In other words,
What I once considered
My great misfortune,
I now treasure.
